Tuesday, September 6, 2011

My NFL Picks, in Five Words or Less

There are dozens of NFL preview magazines on the shelves now, all complete with pages and pages of thoughts on each team. There are hundreds of websites with their own, in-depth looks at the 2011 season. This blog? In keeping with the short attention span nature of today's world, I bring you my 2011 NFL picks, with a brief, five word (or less) thought on each team. Enjoy, hate, or fall into the vast middle ground of apathy through sheer boredom:

AFC West

1. Chargers. It's their year...again.
2. Chiefs. It's not their year...again.
3. Raiders. Just don't finish last, baby.
4. Broncos. Tebow sucks at pro football.

AFC South

1. Texans. Because Wade isn't head coach.
2. Colts. The decline starts.
3. Jaguars. They always bore me.
4. Titans. Odd to not see Fisher.

AFC North

1. Steelers. Mike Wallace for 60 minutes.
2. Ravens (WC). They hate Nasty Nestor, too.
3. Browns. No receivers for Colt.
4. Bengals. A complete mess.

AFC East

1. Patriots. Seven seasons since last title!
2. Jets (WC). Foot fetish still funny.
3. Dolphins. Miami loves Bush.
4. Bills. At least classic uniform returns.

NFC West

1. Rams. Bradford the next great one.
2. Cardinals. Still St. Louis to me.
3. 49ers. Alex Smith experiment, take three.
4. Seahawks. Tarvaris Jackson (cue laughter).

NFC South

1. Falcons. Even more weapons for Ryan.
2. Saints (WC). Jabari lives.
3. Buccaneers (WC). Win ten for Lee Roy.
4. Panthers. Newton era begins and ends.

NFC North

1. Packers. They were shorthanded last year!
2. Lions. Good QB, good defense.
3. Vikings. Missed their window in '09.
4. Bears. Too many ex-Cowboys.

NFC East

1. Eagles. Best in East, but overrated.
2. Cowboys. Looking .500 in the face.
3. Giants. Super Bowl cred fading fast.
4. Redskins. Dan Snyder comedy tour continues.

AFC Championship: Patriots over Ravens.
NFC Championship: Packers over Falcons

Super Bowl XLVI: Packers over Patriots

Final five words: I'm glad football is back.


  1. Idea for next blog post. NFL uniforms, in 5 words or less.
    (Feel free to have a celebrity guest blogger, with royal ancestry, of course.)

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