Thursday, July 3, 2014

A Long Day

After finishing the Buffalo Springs Half Ironman last June, I swore I would never even think about doing a full Ironman.

Last Sunday, I did a full Ironman.

One of the great things God gives us is the ability to forget trauma. That day at Buffalo Springs was traumatic. I pushed too hard on the bike, and paid for it on the run. Like LeBron, I had massive cramps that brought me to a halt. I had to walk much of the half-marathon. I didn't see how anyone could do a full Ironman. But, gradually, I started to forget about how rough an experience it had been. I kept swimming, riding, and running. And then, last fall, I signed up for Ironman Coeur d'Alene (IMCDA) in Idaho, which would roll around June 29th of 2014. Plenty of time to train, and to forget.

I've got several buddies who have raced IMCDA, and they all loved it. They were right to rave about it--the town and course are beautiful. The organization is top-notch. The volunteers--4,000 of them--are hard working and ridiculously friendly.

The Ironman distance has always fascinated me. It was born from a barroom argument in Hawaii in 1977 over who were the better athletes: swimmers, cyclists, or runners. So, one man decided that the next year, 1978, they would hold a race that combined the distances and routes of the Waikiki Rough Water Swim Race (2.4 miles), the Around Oahu Bike Race (112 miles), and the Honolulu Marathon (26.2 miles). They would race the courses for those events consecutively, in that order, and if you could finish, you would be called an Ironman. A handful of men raced that first Ironman, and Gordon Haller won in just under 12 hours. The event and sport quickly grew from there, and is experiencing its biggest-ever growth spurt today. Since first reading about the Ironman in one of my bike magazines (after famous cyclist John Howard won the race in 1981), I've always wondered if I could finish the distance. Since I've been riding all of my life, running marathons the last seven years, and swimming the last two years, and since I'm not getting any younger, and since I had forgotten about the pain of Buffalo Springs, I decided the time was right for me to tackle the Ironman.

IMCDA is not the easiest Ironman course, with 5,000 feet of climbing on the bike leg, and four long hills on the run. But the weather is almost always good, and that was the most important factor for me, since, like LeBron (he and I are very similar athletically, in case you haven't noticed), my body doesn't function well in the heat, even though I train in Texas. I hate to think how bad I'd be in the heat if I trained in Alaska all the time.

Race day morning, the temps were perfect. It was going to be a cloudy day, with 50's and 60's in the forecast. However, when I woke up, I could hear the wind howling. I looked out the window, and the flags were stiff. I got down to the race start, on the shores of Lake Coeur d'Alene, and the normally placid lake looked like an ocean with it's choppy conditions.

The swim is not my strength. I was hoping to finish the 2.4 miles in about 1 hour, 30 minutes. The gun went off, and the racers, all wearing wetsuits to protect from the 60 degree water, were funneled through a start shoot and into the drink. I tried not to think about how much it was going to suck, and instead just get on with the task at hand. If, at any time during the race, you stop to think about the enormity of the event, you can't handle it. You have to break it down to small races within the race. I just kept trying to swim to the next buoy, or the next turn.

The swim was tough for the good swimmers, and really tough for us slower swimmers. Going into the wind took forever--the water so choppy that it felt like you were getting nowhere. Plus, the rough water made for chaos. There were swimmers getting disoriented and going the wrong way, swimmers stopping to hang onto the kayaks to gather their wits, and swimmers (like me) who were getting surprised by big waves and accidentally swallowing part of the lake. I exited the water after 1:48--I was swimming for almost two hours! I was already well behind my projected pace for the race. I was so happy to get out of the water, though, I could have vomited.

The bike leg wasn't any easier, even though it's my comfort zone. The winds were brutal. I was almost blown off the road three different times by 30 mph cross-gusts on the descents. There were long, uphill stretches straight into the wind, which killed a lot of hopes, including mine. At mile 80, I faced my first big crisis: I wanted to quit. I had all of my excuses ready. I was way behind on my projected bike time, and overall race time. I was getting worn down and demoralized by the wind and climbs, and I couldn't imagine still having to run a marathon. I was going to do a U-turn and ride back into town and notify an official that I was done. I argued with myself for 10 minutes, and, in the end, I made a gentleman's agreement with myself, deciding I would at least complete the bike leg and see how I felt. So I did--finishing about 45 minutes slower than I thought I would, which I didn't like, but I wasn't able to do anything about it.

In the transition area, I made another deal with myself: run the first two miles of the marathon, and see how you feel. If it's bad, you can then quit. So I started running, and I felt OK. I ran two more miles, then two more. I was running very slowly, but I was running. My friend Grant, a veteran triathlete, told me once to "just keep running, because your slowest run is faster than your fastest walk." I kept thinking about that, and kept running. Instead of thinking about running 26.2 miles, I took it one mile at a time, just telling myself to run to each aid station (which were one mile apart along the run course), and then spend a minute walking through the station, partly for a rest, and partly to make sure I ate and drank enough. (Each aid station is packed with volunteers offering you water, sports drink, gels, bars, chips, pretzels, chicken broth, bananas, cookies--all to help fuel your body, and I ate all of it).

By the halfway point of the run, I was dead. I again had to talk myself out of quitting. I eventually figured that I'd come this far, done all of the training, and would probably never do another one of these stupid events again, so I might as well finish, even if I have to walk the rest of the way. My goal time was long gone, but I didn't care--I just wanted to finish. Besides, I had purchased an Ironman t-shirt the day before, and so I had to finish or I could never wear that shirt! Funny, the little things we come up with to keep us going.

I passed the time on the run by checking out the scenery, and it was breathtaking (or, perhaps it was the running that was taking my breath). I saw an incredible sunset over the lake. That's how long I was out on the course--I saw the entire day pass, all while racing.

During the second half of the marathon, I was still running, save for a few pee breaks, and some walking up the big hills. I ran 90% of the 26.2, but it still took me 5:30, so you can imagine how slowly I was running. I must have looked really, really ugly. I thought I could run the marathon leg in about 4:30, so again, I fell short of my goal, but again, I wasn't counting on the rough conditions on the swim and bike legs.

I finally made it to the finishing straight, and the crowds were amazing--it was like I was winning the race. There were thousands of people lining both sides of the road in downtown CDA, and they were loud (and, by this time of the evening, also drunk). As I crossed the finish line (after 14 hours!), I heard the race announcer say "Craig Miller from Dallas, Texas, you are an Ironman!" Pretty cool moment.

Looking back, I honestly don't know how I did it. That event is a testament to the human spirit. On the run, I was passed by 68 year old men and 62 year old women (everyone's age is written on their calf so other racers will know who is in their age group). But, I was passing 30 year old guys who looked to be in better shape than me. You never know what the body can do when the mind decides to push it.

There were almost 2500 starters at IMCDA this year, and about 500 didn't finish (a high DNF rate of 20%), I'm guessing because of the harsh conditions. My time was right in the middle, ranking about 1100th. I was about two hours slower than I thought I'd be, but I finished.

My long-time racing buddy Dave sent me this quote after the day was done, from Calvin Coolidge, which sums up the spirit of the Ironman:

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Television Sports Viewing Value Chart

As billions listened to our radio program this morning, I unveiled my TV Sports Viewing Value Chart, which turned out to be highly controversial. The idea was born from a Corby tweet, wondering about the sanity of anyone choosing to watch an early-season Rangers/Astros (Astros!) game instead of the Final Round of the Masters. I agreed with his sentiment, adding that, in my view, only Ron Washington had a valid excuse for not watching the Masters. Tackling this sports problem meant retreating to my laboratory to develop the following chart. If you follow this chart, you will be a well-rounded sports fan. If you often find yourself in violation of this chart, you may need to reassess your life (Dr. Carlton Maxwell is an outstanding Sports Psychologist, and he's accepting new clients as I write this).

This chart is similar to a Poker Hand Value Chart. Please do you best to abide by it, and please report any violators of the chart to the proper authorities. You may not have much crossover between sporting events, because of the seasonal schedules. However, if you find yourself with a Masters vs Rangers problem on your hands, consult the chart.

Royal Flush

The Super Bowl. The highest sporting event hand possible, it trumps all other contests. This should be obvious.

Straight Flush

All other championship events in major team sports: World Series, NBA Finals, Stanley Cup, NCAA Football and Basketball (the deeper the series goes, the higher the hand--in other words, a Game Seven always trumps a Game Three). Also note that, based on popularity, NFL events rank higher than the others, with MLB and NBA being even, and NHL events ranking fourth--this system applies throughout the chart).

Four of a Kind

Anything else down the team sport playoff ladder: AFC/NFC Championships, followed by earlier rounds; ALCS/NLCS, followed by earlier playoff rounds; NBA/NHL Conference Finals, followed by earlier rounds, Final Four football and basketball, followed by earlier rounds.

Full House

Cowboys regular season game. Applicable in these parts only. The Cowboys are so big (insert joke here) and play so few regular season games, that each one is a major event. The only exception is if it's a meaningless, late-season game when they are resting all of their starters for the playoffs (insert joke here).

Regular Flush

Golf Major, Final Round; Ryder Cup; Big regular season college or NFL game (OU vs TX, NE vs DEN, etc).


Regular season "playoff push" game--usually only in the last month of a season, for NBA, NFL, NHL, MLB, major college sports.

Three of a Kind

Tennis Grand Slam Final, Daytona 500, Indy 500, Horse Racing Triple Crown event, Tour de France, European Soccer League important match. Any slightly more fringe sport--the major events in these sports should always trump basic regular season action in the major sports.

Two Pair

Regular season, non-playoff push, Mavs, Rangers, Stars games; also regular season, non-important college football action. Games against teams like the Sixers, Astros and Panthers are worth less than games against the Thunder, Red Sox and Blues.

One Pair

Non-major golf event, tennis event, NASCAR race, etc. Schedule-fodder events.

High Card

Regular season college basketball.

Crap Hand

High school sports, Little League World Series.

Wild Cards

Olympics, World Cup. These events are so big, and held every four years, that they don't really fit into the chart. So, you are free to watch them above or below any other sporting events, with impunity.

This is the official end of the chart. Godspeed.

Special Author's Note: This chart is to be taken in a general sense. I understand that there will be "special occasion" games that may cause the value of the hand to change a bit. For example: Corby wearing a mohawk may make a Mavs regular season game more interesting than the Columbus/Pitt NHL playoff pairing. I am willing to give in certain situations, but, IN GENERAL, this chart should be followed as closely as possible to ensure optimum sports-viewing health.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Best/Worst DFW Coaching Hires

My Top 5/Bottom 5 lists are a DFW radio staple, and can be quite controversial. Today, on The Ticket, I presented my best and worst head coaching hires in Metroplex history. In case you missed it, here it is again, but this time in print form, so that you can see it with your own eyeballs:

Top 5

1. Tom Landry: Built the Cowboys from expansion team into America’s team. A pretty good hire by Clint Murchison back in 1960--Landry stayed on the job for 29 years, an NFL record for one stop, 20 straight winning seasons, an NFL record, 5 Super Bowl appearances, and 2 titles. That, friends, is the best hire in DFW coaching history.

2. Jimmy Johnson: Built a team from scratch into back-to-back Super Bowl champs. Picked the players, and coached them--and was near-perfect at both. Master builder and motivator, and really, responsible for 3 Super Bowl wins.

3. Rick Carlisle: Don Nelson was too offensively minded, Avery Johnson too defensively minded, Carlisle was just right. Maybe the best ever in this area for getting the most out of the least. One magical title delivered to the long-suffering Mavs fans.

4. Ken Hitchcock: The perfect follow-up hire to Bob Gainey. Intense, demanding coach. His players responded, and won the Stanley Cup. Also created the Ticket's Charity Challenge on Ice, perhaps his greatest accomplishment.

5. Gary Patterson: People wondered what life after Coach Fran would be like, and it’s been pretty good. 14 seasons for Patterson, a 120-44 record, a 7-5 bowl record, and a Rose Bowl win. At TCU.

Bottom 5

1. Quinn Buckner: No coaching experience at any level when chosen by the Mavs in '92. Hired from the broadcast booth. Went 13-69, the worst record in the NBA during the 92-93 season, and the worst record ever for a rookie head coach who lasted the full campaign. He was fired two days after the final game of the year.

2. Eddie Stanky: Hired by the Rangers in 1977 during the season after Texas fired Frank Luchessi. Stanky managed one game, a 10-8 win over the Twins, then, 18 hours after he took the job, he quit. He told Rangers VP Eddie Robinson that he was resigning because he was homesick and wanted to go back to Alabama. Robinson’s response was “you’ve got to be kidding me.” Not a great hire when you can't even get your new coach to stay on the job for 24 hours.

3. Todd Dodge: Attempting to make the huge leap from high school coach to Division One college head coach, he went 6-37 in 3 1/2 seasons. Only six coaches in the 150 year history of college football have won fewer games in their first 3 1/2 seasons. 2-10 was his BEST season.

4. Dave Campo. Not sure if it was all his fault, but three straight 5-11 seasons marks the darkest chapter in Cowboys history. A great defensive assistant, he never looked at ease as a head coach--highlighted by the time he took the team to Sea World during training camp in San Antonio, where he appeared to be the only one interested in the whales.

5. (tie) Tim Somerville and Vic Trilli: Both with .180 winning percentages during their times at TCU and North Texas, tied for the worst college hoops coaching stints in DFW history. Hired as the head basketball coach of the Horned Frogs in 1972, Somerville lasted just two seasons and went 10-43, turning in his letter of resignation immediately following his final game in 1974. Trilli somehow lasted four seasons in Denton, but went 20-87--his best year was 7-20. The Trilli low point was a 132-57 loss to Maryland--the 75 point loss was the largest margin of defeat in a game featuring two Division One teams in NCAA history.

After I presented this list in a very professional fashion on the show, I heard from a lot of listeners who wondered why Ron Washington didn't make my Top 5. It's my belief that the coaches in my Top 5 were either a big or the biggest reason why their teams won championships. In other words, I don't see the Cowboys producing 20 straight winning seasons without Landry, or another coach doing what Jimmy did, or any coach this side of Popovich winning a title with the Mavs in 2011, etc. However, I think the Rangers would have won those AL pennants with any number of managers at the helm. I don't think Wash sucks, but I also don't think he's a dominant factor in the Rangers success of the past few seasons. Plus, he hasn't won a championship, and there are many that hold him responsible (I don't, necessarily) for questionable managerial moves in the postseason, especially in the 2011 World Series.

And that's the way I see it. Keep in mind, I'm supplying this sports talk content free of charge, so take it for what it's worth.